After working with thousands of women from around the world, I noticed something.
With every woman, there was a catalyst that sparked transformation. Most of the time, that catalyst was uncomfortable.
But discomfort can propel us forward when we let it guide us instead of stop us.
With every client, especially the people who created the biggest changes, they found themselves in one of these three places:
- Caretakers: People in this group realized that after years of taking care of everyone else’s needs, it was time to prioritize their own needs.
- Seekers: “Is this all there is?” is the question that drives the seekers. They are not OK with the status quo; deep down, they know there is more to life than what they live every day.
- Builders: Something (or more than one thing) fell apart in their lives. Something big happened, forcing them to build something new.
In some cases, my clients and students relate to ALL THREE.
My guess is you are here because you can relate to this.
Why does this matter?
Understanding the catalyst that got you here will light your path forward if you allow it.
When you understand what path got you to where you are, you can assess how to create the changes in your life you desire.
But most people sit in judgment and shame and don’t see the power in their current situation.
Let’s take a deeper look at the three catalysts:
The Caretaker
Women often identify as caretakers because of how we have been conditioned. In our society, women are often valued based on their role in caring for others.
If you are part of the “sandwich generation,” you care for children and aging parents. This caretaking on both sides of your life can be incredibly demanding.
Perhaps your role in your family, workplace, community, and more all centered around you caring for others.
Primary Caretaker Strengths:
- You anticipate what is needed and know how to deliver it.
- People in your life feel seen, heard, valued, and less alone.
The Shadow of the Caretaker:
- You are SO good at anticipating people’s needs that you can overstep and enable people instead of giving them the strength to help themselves.
- Your needs get put on the back burner. You may even believe your needs are “too much” and have gotten used to doing things on your own.
How Caretakers Create Lasting Change:
- Prioritize your own needs first. This is easier said than done because deeply rooted beliefs often sound like “I don’t want to be selfish.”
- Get clear on what YOU want vs. what others want or what you have been told you want based on whatever is left after everyone else’s needs are met first.
The Seeker
Seekers have an insatiable desire to understand how the world works and to know their place in it.
They are always asking questions and constantly challenging the way they see things. Asking questions and being curious is just who you are.
Primary Seeker Strengths:
- Willing to pivot and evolve as your understanding and knowledge expands.
- You have a wealth of wisdom to share. You can help light the path for others with your wisdom.
The Shadow of the Seeker:
- You are onto the next thing before you give things a chance to grow.
- There are so many ideas and possibilities; you can either get overwhelmed so you don’t know where to begin, or you start a lot of things but don’t see things through to fruition.
How Seekers Create Lasting Change:
- Balance things between feeling stifled or bored with your ideas and taking congruent action with your vision at a pace that keeps you engaged.
- Trust yourself and let go of perfection. You will constantly be gaining new awareness and wisdom. You won’t be able to implement everything you learn all the time. Trust what is yours to create and let go of the rest.
The Builder
Builders get stuff done. They can move mountains (and often have) to overcome obstacles in their life.
Primary Builder Strengths:
- Builders are the people you want around you when it’s time to create momentum.
- You can see the next step and aren’t afraid to take action.
The Shadow of the Builder:
- You can work until exhaustion, which may feel like you accomplished something, but depleting your energy is not the way to get ahead.
- You can get so focused on the DOING you don’t realize you’re not even on the path you want to be on.
How Builders Create Lasting Change:
- Slow down and rest! Ha, that probably sounds bananas to you. Part of your work is to embrace the principle that results don’t just come from your actions but also from your beliefs and thoughts.
- Ask for and receive support. This is probably just as uncomfortable as resting, right? Just because you can do things on your own doesn’t mean that is what will create the best and highest good for your life.
What’s Next?
First – Acknowledge your brilliance, and please drop the self-judgment.
Regardless of the catalyst that brought you here, I hope that you can see the power of how you create change.
The power you bring also includes some traits that have held you back in the past.
You are here to create different results.
Second – Look at your thoughts, beliefs, and habits.
My Transformation Toolkit is a free resource to help you with the beginning steps of shifting your thoughts, beliefs, and habits.
If you are reading this because you have already downloaded the Toolkit, keep an eye on your inbox, where I’ll share more tools and resources.
You can do that here if you have not yet downloaded your Transformation Toolkit.
Third – Congratulate Yourself
The #1 thing my clients tell me is that they never fit in the box.
You can likely relate. Maybe you tried to do all the “right” things but couldn’t do it anymore. Or maybe you were always a rebel.
Guess what? I never fit in the box, either.
That’s why I created the Transformation Toolkit along with my other programs. I created it for us – a place where we belong.
Cheers to forging a new path forward.
You belong here.
