Last week, we talked about abandonment.
The ways people have left you.
The ways the world has let you down.
The ways you learned not to trust what was around you.
But there’s a part of this conversation that’s harder to say.
The person you’ve abandoned most
is yourself.
Not all at once.
Not dramatically.
But quietly, over time.
Every time you ignored your gut—even when you knew something was off—you abandoned yourself.
Every time you silenced what you wanted because it felt too big, too much, or too selfish—you abandoned yourself.
Every time you chose what was safe over what was true, what was expected over what you desired, what kept the peace over what kept your integrity—you sent yourself a message:
I can’t trust you.
Your instincts are wrong.
Your desires don’t matter.
You can’t handle this.
And when that message gets repeated enough times, something happens.
You stop turning to yourself for answers.
You second-guess every decision.
You question whether you’re doing it right, whether you’re enough, whether you even know what you want anymore.
You build a life around other people’s expectations.
And somewhere along the way, you lose access to your own voice.
What That Actually Feels Like
It feels like standing at a crossroads and not trusting yourself to choose.
It feels like saying yes when you mean no—and then resenting the people around you for something you agreed to.
It feels like watching other women make bold, clean decisions and wondering,
Why can’t I do that? What’s wrong with me?
Here’s the truth.
Nothing is wrong with you.
You haven’t failed at confidence or courage.
You’ve just learned—very well—how not to trust yourself.
And maybe no one ever showed you how to build that trust in the first place.
The Shift That Changes Everything
Here’s what I know to be true:
The same way you learned not to trust yourself—choice by choice, moment by moment—you can learn to trust yourself again.
Not through positive thinking.
Not through affirmations, bubble baths, or reading one more self-help book.
But through practice.
Through making small, honest choices—and keeping them.
Through honoring your no’s.
Through building real evidence that you can count on yourself.
Self-trust isn’t a personality trait.
It’s a relationship.
And like any relationship, it’s rebuilt through consistency, not intention.
A Question Worth Sitting With
So I want to ask you something—and I want you to sit with it honestly:
What’s one way you’ve abandoned yourself lately?
Maybe it’s small.
You said you’d go to bed earlier and stayed up scrolling for two more hours.
Maybe it’s bigger.
You stayed in a job, a relationship, or a pattern you already know isn’t right for you.
Maybe it’s the way you talk to yourself when no one’s listening.
Name it.
Out loud.
In your journal.
In a message to yourself.
Not to shame yourself.
But to see yourself clearly.
Because you can’t come home to someone you’re pretending isn’t lost.
Where This Is Going
This month, we’re talking about what it actually takes to choose yourself.
Not the polished version.
The real one.
The version where you tell the truth.
Where you honor what you want.
Where you start keeping promises to the person who matters most.
You.
Because the life you’re trying to shape
starts with trusting the one who’s shaping it.
And that’s you.
You’re not behind.
You’re becoming.
One bold step at a time.
