4 Tips to Stop Playing Small to Gain Big Results

Apr 15, 2022

Are you playing small in your life… your relationships… or your work?

Playing small is when we set low expectations for ourselves and our lives. We either believe we can’t do it, don’t deserve more, that it’s too much to ask for – or we’re afraid that we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. Sound familiar? These limiting beliefs stem from our own fears, insecurities, and a scarcity mindset.

How many times have you spread your wings – building, or improving something in your life? Maybe it’s creating a healthier lifestyle or a positive mindset. Or you’ve developed a business that you’re proud of. Yet, you find yourself clipping back those wings, letting go of any progresses and reverting back to old behaviors to make OTHERS comfortable?

Our addiction to the acknowledgement and approval from others – especially those we love – is what holds us back. 

We fear rejection, judgment or disappointing those we care for. And that fear is what will defeat you! The only acknowledgement and approval you need… is from YOU!

When we play small – we’re doing ourselves a BIG disservice by holding ourselves back from achieving and receiving SO much more!

Here’s my 4 tips on how to recognize those small expectations and think BIG!

Tip #1 – Feel the Fear… and do it ANYWAY!

I’m not referring to the fear that prevents you from running into a burning building – that’s a healthy fear. I’m talking about the toxic fear you feel when you think of trying something new. Past experiences and negative thoughts are most often instilled by the limiting beliefs or hurtful comments made to us by others over the years. It erodes our self-confidence leading us to doubt ourselves and believe that we aren’t worthy, capable, smart or strong enough. So we lower our expectations and think small.

The way to change that?… you NEED to take a chance! Whether you start small – such as taking a different route to work or introducing yourself to someone new – or decide you want to think even bigger, maybe giving a presentation or writing a book. The important thing is to just start! Take that chance! You’ll be amazed by how empowering it feels – and how much easier it gets, each and every time!

Tip#2 – Ask, Acknowledge, Accept!

Ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? Now… more importantly, ask yourself what’s the BEST that could happen? In most cases, we conjure up thoughts of our own worst-case-scenario stories which lead to those fears. Acknowledge that your fear and limiting beliefs are ALL that’s holding you back from succeeding! Focus on the positives. Accept that trying new things are essential to your growth, learning and achieving – AND KNOW that you deserve all the wonderful things you are wanting in life!

Tip #3 – Focus on Your Why!

What is your reason – your motivation to do what it is that you are considering doing? Focus on THAT… not on the fear! Think about the amazing impact you are going to have on your life and those around you. Visualize your successes and achievements and take note of all the details. How incredible does it make you feel?  Now take that chance, move forward and embrace the wonderful results you want to create in your life.

Tip#4 – Start Small!

Thinking big may feel overwhelming at first. So, chunk it down! Ask yourself what it is that you want to build or create a year from now. Then break it down into smaller steps over several months. How does that look? Determine the first step you’ll need to take to work towards that big dream or goal. Then… DO IT! Continue that process with each additional step, feeling more empowered each time. Before you know it, those small steps will lead to achieving those big dreams.

The important thing is that you need to be completely honest and transparent. Treating yourself with kindness, patience, love and encouragement. Be positive! Don’t let your thoughts become clouded with fears and doubts, leading you to second guess and overthink things. All this will do is paralyse you from taking any action!

Playing small will never serve you, your loved ones or any of your relationships. It’s simply your fear winning and stopping you in your tracks!

But playing BIG?…. that’s where you’ll shine! Where you’ll achieve what you want. That you will live your life to the fullest.

Live boldly, love greatly!

Relationship Kindness: Navigating Fight or Flight Moments — copy

Relationship Kindness: Navigating Fight or Flight Moments — copy

Today's topic is quirky yet profound and has surfaced through my conversations with clients this week. Many have expressed feelings of wanting to flee or fight within their relationships. But let’s remember, a relationship isn’t just with a partner – it's with your...

Taking Time for You: Reflect, Reset, and Embrace the New Year

Taking Time for You: Reflect, Reset, and Embrace the New Year

Have you had a chance to take a breath and think about what you’d love to carry forward into the new year—and what you might be ready to leave behind? As the year winds down, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Family gatherings,...