Or is the world telling you what you should want?
Let me ask you something—what’s one thing that would light up your life right now? Maybe it’s an achievement or an experience, something you’ve been craving. What’s the first thing that comes to mind?
Now, think about how you answered that. Did you tune into your heart and go inward? Or did your mind jump to a to-do list, a goal you feel you should accomplish, convincing yourself that you’d be happier if you achieved it?
This is a perfect example of how conditioning shapes what we strive for in life instead of being truly present with what matters most to us.
I’m Susan Lazar Hart, your Transformational Mindset Coach, and today, I want to share a different approach to creating a life you love. This isn’t about working harder or setting traditional SMART goals—you’ve probably tried that already. This is where we do things differently.
If you’re like most women in midlife, you’ve been thinking for a while about what you want to create in the next chapter of your life. And if you’re like many of us, you’ve likely been influenced by what the world says you should want and how you should go about it.
The Subtle Power of Conditioning
Here’s the truth: many of us have been conditioned not to put ourselves first. It happens so subtly that we often don’t even notice it. Over time, we start believing in what the world says is important, and we stop trusting our inner voice.
It’s often not until we hit midlife—trust me, I know you get this—that we realize we’ve been chasing other people’s dreams or society’s expectations instead of listening to our own inner knowing.
By this point, we’ve had years, maybe even decades, of self-trust erosion. So, if you’ve ever wondered why change seems so hard, there are two things I want you to hear: One, you are not alone. And two, listening to your inner voice is something you can reconnect to at any time.
Are You Following Your Deep Longing?
When you think about creating a life you love, here’s a question I want you to ask yourself:
Is this desire coming from your soul, from a deep, genuine place inside you? Or is it based on what you’ve been told you should want?
When that desire for change comes from within, that’s where true transformation starts. It’s what I call your “internal motivators”—the power and presence that come from trusting yourself and knowing that change is possible.
But here’s the catch: society, culture, social media, and even well-meaning friends drown out that voice with their own ideas of who you should be. These are the “external motivators,” and they can lead you to set goals that aren’t aligned with your true desires.
When we set goals based on those external motivators, two things can happen: either we achieve them and feel empty because they weren’t what we really wanted, or we sabotage ourselves because we’re not truly connected to them.
How Do You Break Free From That?
It starts by connecting to the feeling of the change you seek. It’s about getting quiet and listening—not to the excuses or limiting thoughts, but to the part of you that knows deep down that something different is possible for your life.
Before I introduce some resources I’ve prepared for you, I’d like to leave you with a question to reflect on:
When you think about something that would light up your life, what feeling are you truly seeking?
Is it joy, peace, freedom, or something else entirely? What is that core feeling you want to experience when you reach that result?
Resources to Help You Connect With That Feeling
I have two resources to help you do just that:
Transform: The 21-Day Reset Challenge – Coming up this week, this group program is designed to help you change your thoughts, beliefs, and actions so you can create a life you love. It’s a fantastic way to learn the steps I share with my private clients to create lasting, meaningful change.
www.susanlazarhart.com/transform
Transformation Toolkit – Download this toolkit to access an exercise that helps you connect with the feeling of what’s possible. It will guide you in deprogramming the conditioning you’ve received and deepen your connection to your inner knowing.
https://susanlazarhart.ck.page/transformation-toolkit
Start Small, Trust Yourself
Remember, you don’t need to figure everything out at once. Start by tuning in to what really matters to you and connecting with the feelings you desire. Small steps lead to big changes, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.
I’ll leave you with this: Trust yourself. The life you want to create is within reach, and it all starts with listening to that inner knowing. You’ve got this!
Here’s to creating the life you love,
