Most women don’t realize they’ve abandoned themselves
until their body, their patience, or their trust starts to wear thin.
Not in a dramatic way.
Not because something went wrong.
But quietly. Over time.
There are three subtle shifts that show up again and again when this happens.
Almost no woman wakes up one day and decides to put herself last.
What happens instead is subtle.
You say yes when you mean maybe.
You wait until things settle down.
You tell yourself, “This isn’t the right moment.”
You prioritize harmony, stability, and being the one who can handle it.
And slowly — without realizing it — your own voice gets quieter.
Most women don’t call this abandoning themselves.
They call it being responsible.
Being loving.
Being practical.
But eventually, something inside starts to feel off.
After years of sitting with women in midlife — women who are capable, thoughtful, and deeply self-aware — I’ve learned to listen for these shifts, because they tend to show up quietly.
But alignment doesn’t come from reacting.
It comes from discernment.
The First Shift: Fatigue That Rest Doesn’t Fix
The first shift is exhaustion that rest doesn’t resolve.
You slow down.
You take time off.
You try to be gentle with yourself.
- Does this actually fit me?
- Does this support who I am now?
- Or am I responding to pressure instead of truth?
Especially in midlife, many women aren’t confused — they’re overwhelmed by too many voices competing for their attention.
And yet, the tiredness stays.
That’s not physical exhaustion.
That’s misalignment.
It’s the fatigue that comes from living from obligation instead of from what feels true.
The Second Shift: Resentment You Judge Yourself For
The second shift is resentment — especially the kind you don’t think you’re allowed to have.
You care deeply about the people in your life.
You’re grateful.
And still, you feel irritated, edgy, or quietly angry.
Not because you’re unkind —
but because something in you hasn’t been given a voice.
Resentment isn’t a flaw.
It’s information.
The Third Shift: Overthinking Simple Decisions
The third shift is overthinking decisions that used to feel simple.
You go back and forth.
You second-guess yourself.
You look for reassurance.
Not because you’re incapable —
but because you’ve stopped trusting your own internal yes and no.
When you stop choosing yourself consistently, self-trust erodes quietly.
If you recognized yourself in any of this, it doesn’t mean something is broken.
It means something is asking for your attention.
This isn’t failure.
It’s feedback.
The Sunday Reset
No fixing.
No answering yet.
Just notice:
Where in my life am I being reasonable instead of honest?
Let the question work on you.
Awareness is the first real shift.
Next Sunday, we’ll talk about what it can cost to keep waiting —
and why waiting can feel safer than choosing, even when it isn’t.
For now, let this land.
You’re not behind.
You’re becoming.
One bold step at a time.
