Breaking Free from the Self-Judgment Cycle

Oct 17, 2025

How to Create the Life You’ve Always Known Is Possible

Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle — perhaps in the middle of your life — where you’re not moving forward, even though you desperately want to change?

You’re not alone.

So many of us reach a point where, no matter how much we want something different, we somehow end up looping back into the same old patterns. We want change, but we stay in what feels familiar — even when it’s not fulfilling.

When you’re stuck in a cycle, what’s often at the root of it is self-judgment.

It’s so common, we don’t even notice it’s happening. This cycle of judgment actually keeps us comfortable — as bizarre as that sounds.

You see, change feels uncomfortable. So rather than stepping into something new (and uncertain), we often choose what’s familiar, even if it keeps us in the same place.

Then, when we don’t reach our goals or follow through on what we said we would, we judge ourselves even more. And the cycle continues.

But here’s the truth:

We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.

That, my friends, is the self-judgment cycle — and it doesn’t have to be your reality.

I call it the joy of failure — not because failure feels joyful, but because it’s familiar.

We’ve learned to rely on it. Deep down, we even expect it. It’s the little voice that says:

“See? I told you this wouldn’t work.”
“I knew they’d let me down.”

It’s the habit of needing proof that we were right — about what we can’t have and why we can’t move forward.

But that same conviction can be turned around and used to build the life you really want.

So let me ask you this:
Does being complicit in your comfort actually bring you joy?
Or do you know there’s something greater waiting for you?

Let me tell you about one of my clients, Jessica.

In the middle of her life, Jessica felt trapped in a cycle of self-judgment. She was comfortable in her daily routines but deeply unsatisfied. She wanted more meaning, more aliveness — yet she kept telling herself:

“I’m not ready for that much change.”
“I don’t even know what kind of change I need — I just know this sucks.”

Sound familiar?

Jessica realized that her comfort was actually her biggest obstacle. When she began working with me, everything started to shift.

To change anything in your life, you need to look at three components that keep you where you are:
Beliefs. Thoughts. Habits.

Jessica discovered she had limiting beliefs about her abilities, negative thoughts about her possibilities, and habits that kept her safely in her comfort zone.

Together, we worked on four simple steps to break that pattern.

The first step is awareness — noticing that you’re even in a cycle.

Without awareness, you’ll keep choosing comfort over growth. Jessica’s first big shift came when she realized how her own self-judgment was holding her back.

The second step is to get curious.

Ask yourself:

“What can I choose right now that would create something greater?”

Jessica began asking this question every day — and it opened her up to new possibilities.

Because the truth is,

Curiosity conquers fear — even more than bravery does.

The third step is to be willing to experiment with your life.

This means taking baby steps — small, consistent actions toward what you desire. Jessica started experimenting with her business ideas, one little step at a time.

One of my favorite quotes that guided her (and me) is from Nelson Mandela:

“Do not judge me by my success.
Judge me by how many times I fell down and got up again.”

Finally, feel yourself in action.

This means embodying the joy of honoring your word — to yourself. Jessica began to see herself as successful, aligning her daily actions with her deeper vision.

These four steps are what I call prepaving your future — the future you’ve always known was possible, deep down inside.

Having a guide to walk beside you — to help you stay consistent, accountable, and curious — can make all the difference.

Jessica didn’t stop at awareness; she continued our work together, building clarity, confidence, and momentum until she successfully launched a thriving business she truly loved.

If you’re ready to step out of the self-judgment cycle and into the life you love waking up to — I invite you to explore my Private Coaching Sessions.

I can’t wait to work with you and watch you rise — again and again.


You’re not behind.
You’re becoming.
One bold step at a time.

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