How to Build Self-Trust

Feb 8, 2026

(When You’ve Been Abandoning Yourself Without Realizing It)

The Hard Truth About Self-Abandonment

Last week, we talked about something uncomfortable but powerful: the person you may have abandoned most… is yourself.

And many women recognized it instantly. Ignoring your instincts. Silencing your desires. Choosing safety over truth. Second-guessing every decision. People-pleasing until you feel disconnected from who you really are.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone — and more importantly, you’re not stuck.

This week’s Sunday Reset is about shifting from awareness to action. Because the question that keeps coming up is simple:

“I see it now… so what do I actually do about it?”

First: What Self-Trust Is NOT

Before we talk about building self-trust, let’s clear up a common myth.

Self-trust is not:

Repeating affirmations while secretly doubting yourself
Never feeling fear or uncertainty
Always being right
Looking like you have everything figured out

That’s performance — not trust.

Yes, affirmations and self-love matter. Looking in the mirror and saying “I love you” can be powerful. But words alone don’t create trust.

Trust comes from evidence.

If your actions don’t match your promises to yourself — if you’re not honoring boundaries, making decisions, or standing by them — your brain notices. And eventually, affirmations start to feel hollow.

What Self-Trust Actually Means

It’s about believing that you can handle whatever comes next — even when you don’t know what that is yet.

It’s trusting that:

You can recover from mistakes
You can adapt when things change
You won’t fall apart if things don’t go as planned

Self-trust says, “I’ll figure it out.”

How Self-Trust Is Really Built

Think about the people you trust most.

You don’t trust them because they’re perfect.
You trust them because they’re consistent.

They show up when they say they will.
They take responsibility when they mess up.
They follow through.

Self-trust works the exact same way.

It’s built through small, repeatable acts of integrity with yourself.

Three Everyday Examples of Building Self-Trust

1. The Morning Routine

You promise you’ll get up when the alarm rings — but you keep hitting snooze.

This isn’t about productivity. It’s about keeping your word.

Every broken promise weakens trust.
Every kept promise builds evidence: I do what I say I’ll do.

2. The Uncomfortable Conversation

You know you need to talk to someone — but you keep waiting for the perfect moment.

Self-doubt says: wait until you’re ready.
Self-trust says: have the conversation imperfectly.

You do it. You survive. And your trust grows.

3. The Decision You Can’t Undo

You make a choice… and immediately start second-guessing it.

Self-doubt spirals into “What if I ruined everything?”

Self-trust responds:
“I made the best decision I could with the information I had. If things change, I’ll course-correct.”

Trust isn’t about being right — it’s about being resilient.

The Secret Most People Miss
Self-trust doesn’t come from dramatic life changes.

It grows through small, consistent actions no one else sees:

Doing what you said you would do
Keeping quiet promises to yourself
Showing up even when motivation is low

Each small promise kept becomes a deposit into your self-trust account.

Over time, those deposits build confidence that you can handle big decisions — without spiraling.

Your Self-Trust Challenge This Week

Choose one small promise — and keep it for seven days.

Examples:

Drink water first thing in the morning
Avoid checking your phone for the first 30 minutes
Write for 10 minutes before bed
Take a daily walk
Stop complaining about something you’re unwilling to change

It doesn’t have to be life-changing. It just has to be consistent.

Notice how your relationship with yourself shifts when you honor your word.

You Already Have What You Need

Here’s the truth: you don’t need to become someone new to trust yourself.

You just need to show yourself — through small, bold actions — that you are reliable.

Next week we’ll talk about why self-trust doesn’t grow in isolation, and why trying to do everything alone might be keeping you stuck.

I’m doing something different this month—creating a space where you can actually practice self-trust, not just think about it. I’ll share more details soon, but if you want to be the first to know when it opens, get on my email list.